Feeling a little bit anxious...

Hello there,

Time for a slightly more serious post I think. So, recently I've been feeling anxious, really anxious. It's starting to worry me a lot as I am sure it is not only affecting myself, but, also those around me. It's been getting worse, steadily, so much so that I cant really pinpoint when it really started. It has kind of snuck on me. 

I've always been anxious by nature. I always cared too much about others feelings, when it wasn't necessary, what others think of me and how well I am doing be it school or sport. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean it allowed and even to some degree pushed me to be the best person I can be. But I think I have gotten a tiny bit lost along the way.

Now I feel anxious in almost all the things I do. Especially when in social interactions and doing or learning things that are out of my comfort zone. I hate doing these things now. It makes me sweat, shake and feel sick to my stomach. Perhaps I have drilled myself to the point that I now fear trying new things as I am terrified at failing or looking stupid.

It is all becoming a bit too much. It is getting to the point were I am almost always trying to crush the anxiety which manifests itself as a constant pressure high in my chest which constricts my breathing and makes me heart ache. The more I notice the pressure and the building anxiety the bigger it gets until it fills my chest and me whole being and I am ready to burst, usually into shakes and tears. 

I try to talk myself back to rationality that the problem doesn't really exist, or that at least it is a small problem that can be easily handled or talked through. But I get trapped in my own head with all my worries and insecurities. And it is usually the small problems, that wouldn't normally get to others, that get to me over the larger life problems just as moving to the new uni house or even trying to complete my exams, or even bigger, my course.

I need to relax more and realise that a lot of my worries are unnecessary before my anxiety takes over my life. But I think being able to write some of my feelings down, in some semblance of order, is going to be a big help and step in the right direction towards letting, at least, some of my anxiety go.

Thanks,
TheTinyBookworm
xx